Here is this week’s Monday Motivation thoughts…but it’s on Friday! Surprise…?
(Apparently I didn’t have the motivation to write something on Monday…whoops.)
Saturday, July 13th will mark the halfway point of my personal 1 year transformation challenge. To say the least, I have not moved very far very fast, like I am capable of doing…like we are all capable of doing.
In order to reach the goals that I SAID I wanted to accomplish. I need to be 100% on board with the changes that need to be made in order to accomplish that goal. Likewise, in order for you to reach the goals that YOU SAID you wanted to accomplish, you need to be 100% on board with the changes that need to be made in order to accomplish that goal. Positive movement requires ZERO ambivalence.
Yes, even moving one step forward requires getting over the fence of ambivalence that is right in front of you.
Ambivalence: The state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something.
“…the state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas…” I wanted to emphasize that because when you aren’t doing what you set out to do, you must recognize that YOU are not the problem. But, you do HAVE a problem. That problem happens to be inside of you.
You get into a state of mind that is rooted in feelings like fear, worry, doubt, shame, guilt, and comfort. Those emotions act like the links in a chain fence, and they argue with the good, rational ideas that say you can change. You may agree with your good, rational ideas, but you will also agree with the links in that fence at the same time…
The argument for getting in to the gym might sound like:
(shame) yes, but… I am too out of shape/too fat/too skinny/too weak…to go to the gym.
(worry) yes, but… I am worried about what my friends will think if I start doing this. I am worried I will be judged at the gym. I am worried about getting hurt. I am worried about wasting money. I am worried I won’t do everything perfectly.
(comfort) yes, but… I really like spending time with my family. I really like going right home after work and going to sleep. I really like sleeping in. I really like the taste of this food, and I can’t ever give that up.
You are stuck in a state of mind. Those emotions have built a chain link fence – a mental barrier. You are perplexed about what you should do…who you are supposed to be…and what you really want.
Being stuck isn’t bad. In fact, pondering those questions is advisable! But, you don’t want to stay stuck for too long, and DON’T GIVE UP!
It’s time to get unstuck, my friend!
You have all the answers you will ever need. You have thought and thought and thought about what you want, but more than likely, your emotions have pulled you right back into a false sense of safety, comfort, and even authenticity (I am who I am…) etc
So, step 1 is done. You know what you want.
Step 2 is addressing this fence of ambivalence – the mental barrier that needs to be torn down before you can move on. So, call out the emotions and lies that are stopping you. Is it fear? Is it shame? What are the links that make up your fence?
For me, it has been comfort and a general defiance against being who people expect me to be. (ie. “don’t tell me what I should do, I’m good enough just sitting here on the couch and not practicing what I preach…right?!?”) Aaaaand if you tell me any different, I’ll just tell you about how busy I am…and how it just isn’t necessary for me…
Can you see how that makes no sense? But, it is a typical fence that I am sure some of you are facing as well. I want to be comfortable, so I came up with a weak argument that is acceptable in today’s culture. The lie is that eating consistently better and working out a few times per week is not necessary because I’m “good enough” and it would take SO MUCH time away from my business and my family. Classically, that is a big ol’ bag of BS.
Step 3 is to start deconstructing that fence one link at a time, or find someone that can help, so you can have a few wins to build off of.
This post is getting long…so I will end on that!
If you are looking for a way for me to help you with your Step 3, then I have two ways to help right now:
- I have a brand new app you can download and start getting nutrition coaching from me and daily lessons delivered directly to your phone, with accountability check-ins to keep you motivated and…as I said accountable! Just with “I’m in!” and I will get you the details.
- You can sign up for our 28 day jump start at the gym. You will get unlimited training sessions for 28 days, and the 28 day Sugar Free Me nutrition coaching program delivered directly to your phone (via the app described above). Just reply with “28 Day Jump Start” and we will get you scheduled for an assessment.